tryinghard
Senior Member
- Location
- California
Any funny electrical jokes out there?
Funny Electrical Jokes
- Thread starter tryinghard
- Start date
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electricmanscott
Senior Member
- Location
- Boston, MA
Nope. 
ty
Senior Member
- Location
- 3rd Rock from the Sun
plenty of funny plumbing jokes, though.
which will probably end in thread lock.
which will probably end in thread lock.
ron
Senior Member
- Location
- New York, 40.7514,-73.9925
It is helpful to lighten up the moment with a client with jokes, but I don't have many and have been accused of not being funny anyway. :-?
The main one I use with the architects is that the transformers need a quiet place to live in the building together so they can hum. Why do they hum the Arch will ask. Of course because they are lonely and don't know the words.
The main one I use with the architects is that the transformers need a quiet place to live in the building together so they can hum. Why do they hum the Arch will ask. Of course because they are lonely and don't know the words.
ty
Senior Member
- Location
- 3rd Rock from the Sun
How much does a Polar Bear Weigh?
Enough to break the ice.
Enough to break the ice.
- Location
- Simi Valley, CA
"What do you do with the burned out bulbs?"
"We send them to Kodak."
"What do they do with them?"
"They use them in their darkrooms."
"We send them to Kodak."
"What do they do with them?"
"They use them in their darkrooms."
electricmanscott
Senior Member
- Location
- Boston, MA
Thank you for validating my answer. Oof.
So not only do we have a bunch of economic "experts" here we also have a bunch of "comedians".
Stick to the wirin' folks.
- Location
- Simi Valley, CA
Actually I do do some stand up comedy, but you can see that Charlie already got one, and I'm trying to keep my "not getting deleated" record intact.:grin:
Dave, Steve and Bob, three electricians who work together, were working ?the high steel?. One day, while working on the 38th floor, they had the opportunity to sit down on a large beam and dangle their legs over the edge while eating lunch.
Dave opens his lunchbox and his mood instantly sours. "Jeez. Peanut butter and jelly! I can?t stand peanut buttery and jelly! In fact, I hate peanut butter and jelly! I tell you what?.. if I ever get another peanut butter and jelly sandwich again for lunch, I?m going to jump off this building!"
Steve opens his lunch box, and he, too, is disappointed. "Ham and cheese?. I should have known. Man, I can?t tell you how much I despise ham and cheese. You know, if I ever get another ham and cheese sandwich, I too will throw myself off this building.
Bob opens his lunchbox and scorns. "I can?t believe it. Roast beef. Every day it?s roast beef. I?m getting sick of roast beef. Guys, if I get another roast beef sandwich for lunch tomorrow, I?m following you off the building."
They sit in silence for the rest of their lunch break.
The next day, they sit down on the same girder on the 38th floor for lunch. Dave opens his lunchbox, and discovers a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Saying not a work, he stands up and steps off the girder.
Steve opens his lunchbox, and, well, you guessed it??. ham and cheese. Steve stands up and swan dives to eternity.
Bob calmly opens his lunchbox to discover to no one?s surprise?. a roast beef sandwich. Bob does not even bother standing up. He just scoots off the edge of the girder and falls.
A few days later, their widows have gathered for a memorial service held for the three electricians.
Dave?s wife, Sharon, was sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh, I just did not know Dave hated peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I made them all the time, but he never told me he didn?t like them. If he had told me, I never would have made it for his lunch, and he never would have died!"
Steve?s widow, Brenda, was also crying inconsolably. "Steve never even mentioned his dislike for ham and cheese sandwiches. Never once did he even hint he didn?t care for them. Had I known, I never would have made them for him, and he?s still be alive today!"
Bob?s spouse, Tina, was also wailing and shrieking. "I just don?t understand it. I never had any idea he hated roast beef sandwiches. I just don?t get it. I never made one for him, either. In fact, he made his own lunch every morning before going to work!"
Dave opens his lunchbox and his mood instantly sours. "Jeez. Peanut butter and jelly! I can?t stand peanut buttery and jelly! In fact, I hate peanut butter and jelly! I tell you what?.. if I ever get another peanut butter and jelly sandwich again for lunch, I?m going to jump off this building!"
Steve opens his lunch box, and he, too, is disappointed. "Ham and cheese?. I should have known. Man, I can?t tell you how much I despise ham and cheese. You know, if I ever get another ham and cheese sandwich, I too will throw myself off this building.
Bob opens his lunchbox and scorns. "I can?t believe it. Roast beef. Every day it?s roast beef. I?m getting sick of roast beef. Guys, if I get another roast beef sandwich for lunch tomorrow, I?m following you off the building."
They sit in silence for the rest of their lunch break.
The next day, they sit down on the same girder on the 38th floor for lunch. Dave opens his lunchbox, and discovers a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Saying not a work, he stands up and steps off the girder.
Steve opens his lunchbox, and, well, you guessed it??. ham and cheese. Steve stands up and swan dives to eternity.
Bob calmly opens his lunchbox to discover to no one?s surprise?. a roast beef sandwich. Bob does not even bother standing up. He just scoots off the edge of the girder and falls.
A few days later, their widows have gathered for a memorial service held for the three electricians.
Dave?s wife, Sharon, was sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh, I just did not know Dave hated peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I made them all the time, but he never told me he didn?t like them. If he had told me, I never would have made it for his lunch, and he never would have died!"
Steve?s widow, Brenda, was also crying inconsolably. "Steve never even mentioned his dislike for ham and cheese sandwiches. Never once did he even hint he didn?t care for them. Had I known, I never would have made them for him, and he?s still be alive today!"
Bob?s spouse, Tina, was also wailing and shrieking. "I just don?t understand it. I never had any idea he hated roast beef sandwiches. I just don?t get it. I never made one for him, either. In fact, he made his own lunch every morning before going to work!"
Microwatt
Senior Member
- Location
- North Dakota
I didn't think my joke was that distasteful, but shows what I know. It wasn't that funny anyway.
So am I black listed now?
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jumper
Senior Member
- Location
- 3 Hr 2 Min from Winged Horses
Three guys go down to Mexico one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. They find out that they're to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done.
The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guy's side, they let him go.
The last one is strapped in and say's "I'm an electrical engineer, and I'll tell you right now, you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires." God rest his soul
The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. He says, "I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go.
The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. "I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guy's side, they let him go.
The last one is strapped in and say's "I'm an electrical engineer, and I'll tell you right now, you'll never electrocute anybody if you don't connect those two wires." God rest his soul
electricmanscott
Senior Member
- Location
- Boston, MA
Wait, I just thought of one.....it's really bad so I'll just give you the punch line..."because he was an electrical inspector" :grin:
- Location
- Simi Valley, CA
No accounting for some peoples taste.:grin:
If Charlie won't let you tell it, maybe you can get on Leno.:grin:
- Location
- Simi Valley, CA
HO, HA, HA, HO, oh man that was.........hey wait a minute.
Two Electricians walk past a bar.........it could happen.
electricmanscott
Senior Member
- Location
- Boston, MA
weressl
Esteemed Member
Ton of them...from the original Borscht-Belt....
Sample:
Q: What is the definition of a shock absorber?
A: A careless electrician!
http://www.megavolt.co.il/humor.html
This one isn't a "joke". It was a line of BS that was fed to our "engineer" on one of our projects last fall.
The engineer and the project lead electrician were headed to our warehouse to pick up a lighting panel and some other distribution panels. All the panels had been laying on their backs, on pallets, for months.
Before they left, the other electrician that I work with on midnights told the engineer to "make sure that you stand all of the panels upright for at least a few hours. When the panels lay on their backs, all of the electrons run to one side and the panel will not work right until it is sitting in the upright position for a few hours."
The engineer just nodded, smiled, then left.
When they were at the warehouse, the engineer asked the project lead electrician "How long do we need to stand these panels upright so that they can work right?" He was dead serious!!
The engineer and the project lead electrician were headed to our warehouse to pick up a lighting panel and some other distribution panels. All the panels had been laying on their backs, on pallets, for months.
Before they left, the other electrician that I work with on midnights told the engineer to "make sure that you stand all of the panels upright for at least a few hours. When the panels lay on their backs, all of the electrons run to one side and the panel will not work right until it is sitting in the upright position for a few hours."
The engineer just nodded, smiled, then left.
When they were at the warehouse, the engineer asked the project lead electrician "How long do we need to stand these panels upright so that they can work right?" He was dead serious!!
A bit of a derail here but in the same vein as ^^^^^:
I was once asked by a mechanical engineer if, "when drilling and tapping a hole, do you drill it first or tap it first?"
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