Critique this "letter"

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ItsHot

Senior Member
looks good

looks good

It looks good to me electricman. I like how it focuses on what you have to offer without directly bashing the other guy! And that it is kept simple! Wow you have a lot of work under your sleeve!
 

mdshunk

Senior Member
Location
Right here.
Seems okay to me. That's about the most unsolicited wording you could expect a GC to read before he decides whether to throw it out or not. I think you did a good job.

I do have one question. Are you sure that residential general contractors and remodeling contractors are the group of people you really want to target? I'm not saying they are or aren't, but I'm curious why you chose this group in particular?
 

220/221

Senior Member
Location
AZ
1. Spell check.

2. I'm not fond of going after other EC's which is what you are doing by saying "Does your current EC offer this"

I would tweak it to ask if they need a qualified professional EC.

I'd also skip the floormat promise. It's a GREAT practice but the one time you don't bring one, someone will be there to bite you in the butt.


OK...I re read it and I am going to shoot it down in flames :)

I don't like the whole 20 questions thing.
It doesn't sound professional at all.
Sounds like a one man show (OMS is not a BAD thing BTW)
20 years experience established in 1994 ????
Define CORI check
"Many solid references" is too vague

What a jerk :) I'd scrap it and start over.

Keep it SIMPLE.

Try and say what they want to hear in the first three lines.


Done right, competitive pricing, on schedule.



I do have one question. Are you sure that residential general contractors and remodeling contractors are the group of people you really want to target? I'm not saying they are or aren't, but I'm curious why you chose this group in particular?

This is a really good point but I will have to say that one of our very best clients is a kitchen remodel/ door and window contractor. There are SOME that know how to run a business.
 
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electricmanscott

Senior Member
Location
Boston, MA
Hehe, I don't mean that they get a floormat rather I put one down to protect the floor. Guess that part could go.

Spelling errors have been taken care of.

I am purposely going after other electrical contractors without actually going after them. There a too many bums around here. There are a few that I would not even think of "replacing" as for the rest....

I am targeting residential remodeling contractors because it is really the kind of work I do best. Call it my comfort zone I guess. Also as a one man show I tend to stick to stuff I can handle.

I suspect most of these will end up in the trash, but all it takes is a couple of good contacts and things can get very busy.
 

LarryFine

Master Electrician Electric Contractor Richmond VA
Location
Henrico County, VA
Occupation
Electrical Contractor
Instead of floor mats, we use those blue shoe covers, the ones that look like shower caps, to keep floors clean.

The only other critique is that your font is hard to read; I had to change the font in MSWord so I could read it.
 

cadpoint

Senior Member
Location
Durham, NC
Hope this helps !

Hope this helps !

Is this a flyer or a letter ? Seems short enough to be a flyer, just address it, fold it, staple and mail! Check with the mail service you might get a lower rate! If you get it down to a post card, theres a post card rate! You going to staple your business card to it to ?

In any case, I'd be sure to address to the owner of each company, you might not get by the secretary, if just to "a company".

Mail in two days start calling back, have the complete list for all statements that you've made in literature. If you have to give a reference make sure that the referneces knows that they will be receiving a call, one homeowner & one job GC, and hopefully the same job!

I'd spilt out the top side into two of three phases, if you keep this format.

Licensed in the State of MA as ....
insurance cover ...
workman somp...
Have a good working relationship with local inspection dept's

Return calls promptly
Show up on time & when required?
Get the job done? Correctly?

Just a few thoughts....

Good Luck
 
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iwire

Moderator
Staff member
Location
Massachusetts
220/221 said:
Done right, competitive pricing, on schedule.

Why push 'competitive pricing'?

If I was to run a business I would want to charge more then the competition and provide good reasons for it.

My nephew became a plumber, he works for a contractor that IMO charges high. But they play the game, plastic or drop clothes down from the door to the work area, booties on their feet, gloves nice clothes etc. They are always busy and I think he does better then I do.
 

mdshunk

Senior Member
Location
Right here.
I think you can tell people that you have competitive pricing even if you are at the high end in your market. 'Competitive pricing' is basically a meaningless phrase, when it comes right down to it, but people like to hear that. It may, however, draw in the wrong type of people; those looking for a cheap deal.
 

emahler

Senior Member
iwire said:
Why push 'competitive pricing'?

If I was to run a business I would want to charge more then the competition and provide good reasons for it.

My nephew became a plumber, he works for a contractor that IMO charges high. But they play the game, plastic or drop clothes down from the door to the work area, booties on their feet, gloves nice clothes etc. They are always busy and I think he does better then I do.

and they probably don't do much, if any, work for residential GC's...flat rate, work for the HO directly, focus on service and repair...right?
 

iwire

Moderator
Staff member
Location
Massachusetts
emahler said:
and they probably don't do much, if any, work for residential GC's...flat rate, work for the HO directly, focus on service and repair...right?

You got it, with the target HO living in wealthy neighborhoods. :smile:
 

TOOL_5150

Senior Member
Location
bay area, ca
You need to center the bottom "Are you sure you’re happy with your electrical contractor?"

And I would remove the pricing thing. Charge what you feel your work is worth! Dont lowball yourself. I bet I have been the 'highest price' the last few of my jobs... But I got the jobs because I am confident that I can do it, and do it right the first time. I do not cut corners and my customers understand that by the time they hand me the check. It is not uncommon for them to hand me the check and tell me "I will be calling you back for some more work soon"
Its a good feeling!

~Matt
 

emahler

Senior Member
electricman, i didn't read the letter...but here's some free advice (take it for what it's worth)

you are sending these to residential GC's, correct?

much of the advice you are being given is good if you are targeting homeowners...however, if you are cold calling the slime of the industry (residential GC's) you need to grab their attention...

definitely sell on price
definitely sell on that you will be better than their current EC
definitely sell that you will make them more money...

simple as that. That's the market. It's not like you know these guys and they know you. You are dealing with a group who is not to concerned, in general, with anything but themselves.

The other items, floormat, etc, are good features if you are marketing to homeowners directly.

But resi gc's typically want the cheapest guy...code compliant is all that is required....

Now don't get me wrong, there are many remodelers who do care, but you are not going to get in with them with a letter...They already have an EC, with several that they already know and trust, waiting in the wings.

oh well, what do you want, it's free advice..
 

JohnE

Senior Member
Location
Milford, MA
Scott, I've read the letter twice and already read other's comments. So here are my comments:

1. I like the approach of "are you happy with your EC". Anytime I talk to a new contractor, I tell them that if they are happy with their EC, then keep them, don't hire me.

2. I would ask near the top "Is your EC a good reflection of you as a contractor?" or something along that line. Your goal I think is to find some GC's who care about what they deliver, and their subs are a big part of that product. I do think there are a lot of scumbag residential GC's but there are also a bunch who care. And most have had an electrician who hasn't shown up, hasn't finished on time, has upset the customer, etc.

3. Add a thought to keep you in mind if they are ever in a bind. They may be happy with their current EC, but at some point they may need another. Their guy could be backed up, on vacation, whatever. Include a business card to make it easier for them too keep you in mind down the road.

4. It does sound like a one man shop, but I think you want it to sound that way. You are selling yourself.

5. Keep in mind that a lot of GC's are price shopping right now, for whatever that is worth.

6. You need to include your license number on the advertisement. It is required, but also adds to the professionalism of the flyer.

Good luck.
 

JohnE

Senior Member
Location
Milford, MA
The more I read it, I don't like the llist of questions either. Maybe just ask if they are happy with thier EC and if he reflects well on them. Then creatively list you traits.

Also maybe offer to meet them for a quick 15 minute discussion/ get to know session.

You might want to suggest you are not looking for more customers, but you are looking for more good customers. The good GC's want to distinguish themselves from the scumbags just as we "good" EC's want to be distinguished from the "hacks".:cool:
 
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