Bob,
First tip, hire an engineer.  You will need to engage one at some point and it is a lot easier to do it from the get go.  Plus, you can get him to do these load calcs instead of trying to learn everything in a day or two.  Second tip, I do commercial office buildings anywhere from 12 - 18 w/sf which puts you around a 400A service.  I would try to make this work but would go to 600A if you have a heavy computer/electronics load component.  You are looking at a 400 or 600A service entrance rated main distribution panel and then some smaller subpanels that will be fed out of the main panel.  Good Luck!