Demand load permits demand-factor reductions, and excludes the lesser of items when only one can be on at a time, such as heating and cooling. Connected load is exactly what it implies.
Connected Load is the total load you have connected to the 400 amp panel.
As you probably know, all of that load is not on at the same time. The max demand load is the maximum load that is on during a predetermined period of time. If you live in a hot summer time region, the the peak load may be from
9am to 8pm when the A/C is running all of the time.