One thing to remember is that a single wire doesn't carry power. (You can even argue that the power doesn't even flow in the wires at all, but that is a different thread... )
Power requires voltage and current. You can measure the current in a single wire, but voltage always requires a reference point.
In the original post, you have only L-L connected loads, and you have 3 line currents, but for purposes of assigning 'VA per phase', the neutral was selected as the voltage reference. This was an arbitrary selection which happens to make 'VA per phase' proportional to phase current, useful if you are trying to balance the panel.
If the only thing you cared about was total power used, then you don't need to select the neutral as the reference. For a 3 phase system with only L-L loads, you could select one of the line conductors as your voltage reference. Such an unbalanced reference would give meaningless values for 'VA per phase' but is totally fine for measuring total system power.
Personally the idea of VA per phase is unnecessary. I prefer to think of the current loading on each phase. I mean what is the VA per phase on a corner grounded delta? If you use the 'natural' reference of the grounded conductor than you assign 0 VA to the grounded conductor, and the reference that gives the correct results (neutral) isn't even present in the system.
Jon