Just like Ma Bell!
Circuit magically comes up again while on phone, test board says "It's leaving here OK, it must be your gear...."
Or the "expert" tells me I have noise in my house wiring after I explain that I am getting the noise on their source line that I have isolated from my house (wound up being a damaged drop that got noisy when the ground got wet).
or how about:
Me: The phone company just buried a line and they must have cut your cable line because my TV signal just went out.
"Expert": We will send out a repair crew but we are going to have to charge you a $20 repair fee.
Me: Why don't you charge the phone company?
"Expert": Because you just admitted the line was cut.
Me: But I did not cut it, the phone company did.
"Expert": But you are the one that admitted it.
Me: I'm not "admitting" anything. I'm telling you the phone company just cut your line.
"Expert": And we are going to have to charge you a $20 repair fee.
Me: You should charge the phone company $20. Don't you utilities have some sort of an agreement?
"Expert": But we don't know if you are telling the truth about who cut the line. We charge you the $20 and you get the $20 back from the phone company.
Me: What planet are you on? I expect you to get out here and fix my line pronto or start pro-rating my bill. And I dare you to put a $20 repair fee on my bill.
"Expert": I'm going to send a repair crew out, but I can't guarantee you that there won't be a charge.
Me: If there is so much as one penny extra on my bill, I'll file a complaint with the county (the franchise holder), drop your service, and put in a dish.
I called the county and they said it sounded goofy to them and that they would take up the matter if it was not resolved. After talking to a real expert at the cable company, I wound up with a free month's service for my trouble. No fee was added to my bill.