Neutral load calculation is simple on a 3phase Y:
add the 2 lowest phase current readings, then subtract this from or to the highest phase reading.
lets say
Phase A= 19 amps
Phase B= 25 amps
Phase C= 10 amps
19+10=29-25=4amps on the neutral
Heres where it comes out reverse:
Phase A=5 amps
Phase B=10 amps
Phase C=20 amps
the two lower readings are the 5 and 15 so
5+10=15 reverse it to take the 15 from the 20 = 5 amps on the neutral
want to see an unbalanced panel figure out balanced?
A=5
B=10
C=15
5+10=15-15=0 amps on the neutral
This will only happen with a Y system
you said:
but there are alot of neutral shareing going on
Check to make sure that each ungrounded (hot) conductor that shares a common neutral is on a different phase. we call these Multi-wire circuits, very common in commercial. If two or more ungrounded conductors share a neutral from the same phase, the neutral will be carrying the sum of all currents loaded on each circuit, this can overload the neutral, if on separate phases, then the neutral Carries the differential current, as in the above equation's