Business Cost List
Building
Building ( I see those everyday, I don't have one)
Warehouse Space ( That's what my 78 van is for)
Trash Removal ( I'll just throw it in my neighbors yard)
Lawn Care ( I don' have grass I live in my mommas apartment)
Snow removal (That's the city's responsibility)
Upkeep & Repairs
Office Expenses (Included in Mommas house)
Computers (Yeah I like surfing the net)
Stationary ( is that another name for toilet paper?)
Copy machine (Do I look Like a secretary?)
Fax machine ( That's so 90's)
Forms ( Thats what note book paper is for)
Printing ( # 2 penicls)
Software (Never heard of it)
Office Equipment ( I use my sons pencils)
Computer maintenance
Files (piles on my floor, who needs cabinets)
Postage ( I don't mail I drive)
Office Supplies
IT ( I saw that movie along time ago
Internet service
Email accounts ( free on yahoo)
Web site
-Initial creation ( who needs that? Its 2009)
-Updating
-Maintenance
GPS services
Benefits
Vacation (Pay I have every Saturday and Sunday off)
Holiday Pay ( I just paid you $10 an hour, you should be thankful)
Uniforms ( fruit of the loom's)
Uniform Maintenance ( washed once a month)
Unemployment ( I never will be, I charge $40 an hour)
Bonuses ( I woke Up today)
Incentives ( Free hot dogs for your birthday)
Retirement Plan ( I'm gonna work till I die)
Christmas Party
Taxes ( just take cash and don't worry about it)
Property Taxes (momma's appt don't apply)
Tangible Taxes n/a
Pay Roll Taxes ( what does this mean?)
Income Taxes
Sales Tax
Training ( don't touch black to green)
Management Training
Office Training
In-House Training (Telling my wife she better answer the phone)
Tech Training ( I don't need that stuff)
Mfg. Training
Training Equipment ( how do you train eq? )
Safety Training ( Just wear sneakers and jogging pants)
Update classes
License testing (Whats a license? I really need one?)
Insurance
Building Insurance ( Covered under momma)
Liability Insurance ( Government conspiracy)
Employee Insurance (LMAO)
Life Insurance ( Thats a ripoff)
Business Insurance (Thats just for you big guys)
Workers Comp. ( I don't need it, I won't get hurt)
Utilities ( Covered by momma)
Gas ( I get that after eating beans)
Electricity ( turn off a/c and save some money
Telephone / Fax lines (Pay as ya go)
Internet Service
Toll Calls
Telephones
Pagers/Cell Phones
Radio Maintenance
Vehicles ( 77 Pinto choice for the pro's)
Vehicle Maintenance
Ladder Racks ( that's what bungee cords are for.)
Interior bins ( Coffee cans)
Fuel ( that' what my neighbors car is for)
Truck Signs / lettering / vinyl ( I use magnets and sharpies)
Tires ( drvie them till you see metal)
Financial
Accounting ( is that when you add numbers together?)
Loans ( yeah right my credit score is 500)
Tax Preparation
Interest
30+ Day Receivables ( You mean I can get something in 30 days?)
Bank Charges
Travel
Hotel ( good for Friday's after the bar)
Meals ( Hot dogs and Ramen Noodles)
Airline / vehicle
Unique to the electrical trade
Permits ( I don['t need those)
Licenses ( N/A on the next 9)
Bonds
Inspections
Trade Association
Subscriptions
Memberships
Dues
Retainers
Safety PPE
-Lock-out/Tag-out kits
-Fall prevention harness ( I wear suspenders)
-Arc-flash clothing ( Long sleeve cotton shirt)
-Hard hats ( I do residential)
-Safety glasses ( sunglasses from Walgreens)
-Hearing protection
Tools (stole them from my former boss)
Company Tools (same as above)
Safety Equipment ( Drink a beer before working on live wires)
Ladders
2-way Radios ( strings and Cups)
Test Equipment ( My helpers wiggy)
Replacement Parts ( old parts form the last job)
Parts Storage ( my pinto)
Damages
Tool Replacement ( Call up my old Boss)
Job site storage ( Buckets)
Misc.
Trips to Supply House ( They come to me)
Theft ( any Tips?)
Uncollected Money ( thats what My bat is For)
Collection fees ( Louisville slugger)
Unbillable Hours
Commissions
Call Backs / Warranty work ( When I'm done I'm done)
Shortages ( I'll just make a splice)
Bad Checks ( Only cash)
Delivery
Credit Card Sales
Drug Testing ( if I do that I can't smoke the ganja)
Legal
Legal advice
Law Suits ( I have had quite a few of those)
Incorporation / LLC fees
Advertising ( word of mouth)
Marketing ( Huh)
Business cards ( print them my self customer like the rough edges)
Signs ( card board and sharpies)
Radio / TV ( I like to listen and watch)
Newspaper
Flyers / brochures
Material Purchases
Inventory
Labor ( We pay the lowest in town)
Wages ( negotiable)
Salaries ( Can I please put you one)
Dispatcher ( My wive, she works for free)
Answering Service ( same as above)