Dealing With Screamers

[360Youth]

( I must confess I did YELL at a helper once for trying to cut 3/8" threaded rod with my ratcheting cutters :-?)

What's his name. I want to yell at him, too.

 

[cowboyjwc]

When you yelled back at this guy, did you have your shirt off and a 3/4" piece of rigid in your hand

No. But when I was still wearing the bags I did have a guy go off on me one time for no reason (semi long story) and he was a big guy too, I probably weighed all of about 150 pounds at the time. He hollered and threatened to kick my butt for a few minutes until he looked down and saw that I had a knife in my hand, after he asked me what I was going to do with it and I told him, he got real quiet and just walked away and I never had any trouble with him again.

The guys that are like that are usually like that because everyone lets them be, kind of like the bully at school, once he get's punched in the nose, he usually backs down.

 

[220/221]

The way to deal with ANY issue, including verbal abuse, is head on.

Not confrontational head on but directly, honestly and privately.

Do it when it happens. If there are others around, step up and ask him to come outside for a minute. Use your marriage counselling/therapy training to express how you feel when he screams at you then set new boundries by letting him know that his behavior is unacceptable and unproductive.

Basically, talk to him privately. man to man. No shouting or judgement, just honesty. Nobody wants to be a dick. Some people are just more prone to it than others.

 

[mxslick]

Possible approach #2:
Yell back (sort of). But do not say anything in response to whatever he was saying. Instead, yell something completely surprising. For example, once again you walk over to the screamer, but this time you scream into his face, ?GOOD MORNING. ISN?T IT A LOVELY DAY? I HOPE YOU ARE WELL. WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE?? Then you say, quietly and calmly, ?Do not ever speak in a loud tone again, unless the room is on fire. I will not tolerate being screamed at.?

I worked at a job with a screamer for a boss. I was lucky to know about him in advance (my friend referred me to the job) so I was prepared.

I spent the majority of that year pretty much laughing at or ignoring him when he went on his rants.

About six months in, he yelled directly at me for something I had made a mistake on, I let him rant then chuckled and told him that "Wow, it took six months for you to yell at me, I was beginning to feel left out. " Took the wind right out of his sails. We got along great after that.

A few months later, I needed a programmer tool that I KNEW he had in his office. He sent me on a wild goose chase all over the warehouse looking for it (because he didn't feel like opening his office for me). Well, after wasting a full hour, I got on to another activity, and after he asked if I found the programmer tool yet, I walked past him shouting and using some rather colorful language, told him no and that I didn't care what happened and what he could do with that tool. I went back to my work area biting the inside of my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Five minutes later my boss brought the tool to me with a sheepish expression. I then thanked him calmly.

That was a fun job to work at.

Moral is, what worked for me was standing up to him and using humor to diffuse his rants. And when he was being stubborn, a taste of his own tactics got me what I wanted.

 

[tonyou812]

Yea its so funny now that Ive been on my own for a little over a year now. When my buddies call me to complain about their bosses I feel like laughing sometimes. They dont know how good they have it.

 

[ce2two]

Just one thing RESPECT is EARNED? I grew up in a violent family , so angry ,crazy people don't bother me , I will flat out laugh in there face ...I never have a bad day , life is tooo short to have a bad day ,I'm sorry ...Never back down , or show your weak...Enjoy life ..........

 

[growler]

Yea its so funny now that Ive been on my own for a little over a year now. When my buddies call me to complain about their bosses I feel like laughing sometimes. They don't know how good they have it.

If you really felt that way you would be out looking for a job. Being either self employed or running your own business has a few disadvantages but it's still better than working for someone else.

 

[LarryFine]

If you really felt that way you would be out looking for a job. Being either self employed or running your own business has a few disadvantages but it's still better than working for someone else.

Methinks you missed that he already is self-employed.

Mayhaps you meant the complainers would be looking.

 

[growler]

Methinks you missed that he already is self-employed.

I'm aware that Tony is self employed. I just think that when he made the transition from employee to boss he forgot what it's like to be the employee. Many people make this mistake and just assume that others should be happy as employees. Most people are not happy as employees they just don't have the drive to go out on their own. About 75 percent of the people in this country hate their jobs.

 

[bikeindy]

The position you are in leaves very little wiggle room, especially in the hard economic times we are all experiencing.

We are not all experiencing hard economic times nor will we all be experiencing hard economic times. And it is NO reason to put up with some loud mouth who probably yells at guys because of his own ignorance. I vote for the shovel to the head and let me know how it turns out I always wanted to use that approach.

 

[Cow]

Hmm, I read the title to this thread and immediately thought of that Ron White "bit" on screamers...

 

[jeremysterling]

The owner/EC preparing me for the new job, tells me the guy Paul running the job is his pusher. Says j-men have come to him, quitting, whining, "Paul doesn't talk to me like man." Owner says, "This is construction, this is where men work, don't forget it." That was actually a fun job!

 

[wawireguy]

There's one thing.. I ALWAYS regret taking grief from any lead because of wanting the job. Later I feel like I let myself down for taking someones abuse and wish I'd told them off. Sometimes these people will only respect you if you dish it right back. Other times you won't be working for them but at least your pride is intact.

 

[JJWalecka]

Have you ever had to work with a screamer? You know, someone who can't speak in a civil tone when either offering direction, correction or just participating in a discussion.

Personally, I am working under a screamer, and could use some tips on how to maintain a cool head without cracking his head open with a shovel. I'd like to think I can adapt to just about anybody, but wouldn't mind hearing a few tips.

Coincidentally, a friend of mine is an EC working for a screaming GC. That GC has his good and bad days. My buddy has a decent amount of pride and by all rights probably wouldn't normally put up with the outbursts, but the GC is a pretty steady income in a somewhat slow winter. The funny thing is, the GC commented that one of his prior electricians in years past informed the GC that he was walking off the job, he had no time for it. The GC was relaying the story in part because my buddy called him out on it.

The irony was, the GC was saying that sometimes, he needed a gut check like that to keep his screaming in check - but the reason it was being discussed was because he had just got done screaming (in a bad way about the customer) within earshot of the customer, at the EC.

My buddy and I were talking about this the other day, and he asked me (and I forward the question to you): As an employer, would you hire/fire an employee despite/because they are a screamer? Do you consider screaming to be an effective management tool over a construction crew? Are screamer's crews more or less productive?

Should a crew be "screamed at" first thing in the morning to get them woke up and spurred into action?

Any helpful hints for the screamees?

George

Life is what you make of it. You can't change the world, you can only change yourself.
Don't lose your cool. Be the bigger person. Don't let it get to you. Remember you never know what happens behind closed doors. Sometimes people bring things from there personal life to work.

Best of luck.


JJ

 

[Karl H]

My method is, 1. I make sure I'm right,state the facts and only
argue the facts.Emotion and the Facts never mix.
2. If I'm wrong,I admit it. If that's not good enough I do my
best not to laugh when the screaming begins. I cannot
look at a grown man screaming like a child and not laugh.
I don't care who it is.

 

[LarryFine]

The owner/EC preparing me for the new job, tells me the guy Paul running the job is his pusher.

Wow! For a moment, I thought . . .

 

[tonyou812]

I like to use pure logic when someone gets angry. And I will repeat what they say to me so they can understand how silly they sound. I dont like dealing with screamers and I will nip it in the butt. Unless the project is worth a lot of money.

 

[George Stolz]

I appreciate all the replies - good food for thought here.

When I was hired on, the owner warned that there were some less-than-cheerful foremen working for him, I was forewarned. My attitude always has been that they were there first, so I have very little place to be dictating to anyone how they run their jobs. My motto is the same as the slumlord's proverb: If you don't like the conditions here, move.

In the big picture, it's a good company, so I can deal with the rowdy ones as they come up. The conversation has helped with that.

Edit to add: Funny thing is, the fellow that brought this to mind for me actually seems to like me more than some on the job - I really feel bad for those guys.

 

[iaov]

Unless there is an imediate threat to life I see no reason for anyone to be screaming, and anyone who is screaming without an imediate threat to life being present, is IMO mentally ill. Unless this mentaly ill person is armed better than I am, I find them amusing. The first symptom of all mental illness is self importance. The screamer is someone who takes himself VERY seriously. He is also very unhappy. They say that misery loves company. This is not true. Misery Demands company. I do not take myself seriously and therefor can not take anyone else seriously either. I also will not let the actions of someone I know to be mentaly ill dictate how I will act. Someone who will not recognize your importance and will not share your misery is not much fun to scream at.This person may hate me forever, but they will find someone else to scream at.

 

[LarryFine]

I ALWAYS regret taking grief from any lead because of wanting the job.

Language, dude. :roll: