Dementia

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ptonsparky

ptonsparky

Tom
Location
NE (9.06 miles @5.9 Degrees from Winged Horses)
Occupation
EC - retired
Getting closer but not mine.

One of my customers is obviously suffering from Dementia and is in the need of help. We have notified Adult Protective Services of our concern but I don't know what else to do for her. I hate to send guys out to her house to disconnect the running motor very many times. Once was enough. There is no motor.

I managed to put her off the other day but she was going to call someone else.

Do you just say you're too busy and go on about your day when those customers call?
 
ptonsparky said:
Getting closer but not mine.

One of my customers is obviously suffering from Dementia and is in the need of help. We have notified Adult Protective Services of our concern but I don't know what else to do for her. I hate to send guys out to her house to disconnect the running motor very many times. Once was enough. There is no motor.

I managed to put her off the other day but she was going to call someone else.

Do you just say you're too busy and go on about your day when those customers call?
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mgookin said:
Does she have family?
She needs a guardian.
Click to expand...

If she does have family, they need to be notified. Someone in that condition can get taken advantage of-notifying APS was the right thing to do-
it was for her own good.

Otoh, outside of any dementia, she may just be lonely/wanting attention. Whatever the case may be, an evaluation by a physician couldn't hurt.
 
ptonsparky said:
Getting closer but not mine.

One of my customers is obviously suffering from Dementia and is in the need of help. We have notified Adult Protective Services of our concern but I don't know what else to do for her. I hate to send guys out to her house to disconnect the running motor very many times. Once was enough. There is no motor.

I managed to put her off the other day but she was going to call someone else.

Do you just say you're too busy and go on about your day when those customers call?
Click to expand...

dementia is a fairly tough thing to accurately diagnose so it is not something that a rank amateur would be able to tell by casual observation. some or all of the symptoms of dementia are present in all kinds of ailments; emotional, physical, and psychological.

you did the right thing in contacting people who can look into her situation in a more professional way.
 
As someone who knows people who have dealt with Adult Protective Services I don't think highly of them. They are not your friend. APS can only advise unless it has been determined that the person is not in their right mind or a danger to themselves through a court order. I have seen an APS caseworker urge an elderly person to press elder abuse charges (a felony) against his daughter because the house was in disarray and little food was in the refrigerator. The elderly person was a hoarder, the daughter his long time caregiver, APS was called by a nephew looking to get the elder's money. Plan was to get the daughter out of the house then he could gain the elder's confidence.

I don't know what the caseworker's (who claimed to be a social worker) goals were as determined by her superiors but getting people locked up should not be one of them. Bringing families together and urging support and professional help should be what they do.

From what I know it's very possible that if this person had a family member or someone else looking in on them you might have gotten them in trouble.

-Hal
 
hbiss said:
As someone who knows people who have dealt with Adult Protective Services I don't think highly of them. They are not your friend. APS can only advise unless it has been determined that the person is not in their right mind or a danger to themselves through a court order. I have seen an APS caseworker urge an elderly person to press elder abuse charges (a felony) against his daughter because the house was in disarray and little food was in the refrigerator. The elderly person was a hoarder, the daughter his long time caregiver, APS was called by a nephew looking to get the elder's money. Plan was to get the daughter out of the house then he could gain the elder's confidence.

I don't know what the caseworker's (who claimed to be a social worker) goals were as determined by her superiors but getting people locked up should not be one of them. Bringing families together and urging support and professional help should be what they do.

From what I know it's very possible that if this person had a family member or someone else looking in on them you might have gotten them in trouble.

-Hal
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nothing is perfect. there are plenty of family members that are low lifes when it comes to dealing with elderly family members. unless he knows the family very well it is probably best not to get directly involved and let a disinterested third party investigate. as a casual outsider, there is no way for him to evaluate what is best for this person. nor is it his responsibility.
 
hbiss said:
From what I know it's very possible that if this person had a family member or someone else looking in on them you might have gotten them in trouble.

-Hal
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And its also possible that this person may have nobody, and is losing both their grip on reality and the ability to stay independent due to the ravages of age- which opens them up to the very real possibility of being preyed upon by the unscrupulous- would you much rather see this person get evaluated and get the help she may need or get cheated out of money by some dirtbag or worse?

Another issue is what if she does have family, but they either aren't aware of her condition or haven't grasped the seriousness of it? Them getting contacted by APS might be the wake up call/ notice they need.:)


petersonra said:
nothing is perfect. there are plenty of family members that are low lifes when it comes to dealing with elderly family members. unless he knows the family very well it is probably best not to get directly involved and let a disinterested third party investigate. as a casual outsider, there is no way for him to evaluate what is best for this person. nor is it his responsibility.
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:thumbsup:
 
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ptonsparky said:
Getting closer but not mine.

One of my customers is obviously suffering from Dementia and is in the need of help. We have notified Adult Protective Services of our concern but I don't know what else to do for her. I hate to send guys out to her house to disconnect the running motor very many times. Once was enough. There is no motor.

I managed to put her off the other day but she was going to call someone else.

Do you just say you're too busy and go on about your day when those customers call?
Click to expand...


What is this running motor she talks about?
Does she think it's a pump, refrig, exhaust she's hearing or something?

The reason I ask is, sometimes it's something else that resembles a sound.

For example, I had a lady on a number of occasions tell me her smoke detector was chirping, I changed batteries first then a second time changed the detector....still to no avail she said it still did it.
So one day I went over and just observed. Get this----- when she had a friend over to play cards at her dining room table I heard the sound. Well after hearing and locating it, it was a squeak that the table made as she leaned against one side just right and I'll be damned if it didn't sound just like a chirping smoke detector.
Mystery solved!
 
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I understand nothing is perfect but I stand by my comment about bringing families together and urging support and professional help which is I think what you all are saying also. Unfortunately, at least here, APS is too quick to place blame and bring charges, often just going by the word of a person that has issues that prevent clear reasoning and thinking.

My own experience many years with my own mother. She was very difficult and ornery and lived with my wife and I. She fell and broke her pelvis and while recovering in rehab told everybody who would listen that my wife hung her coat on the hall stairway knewl post so she would trip over it. As ridiculous as that sounds some "case worker" came to our house, looked around and questioned us about our relationship with my mother. Really??

I agree that some elderly need help but not from a rogue organization that seems to be out to fill a quota like cops and speeding tickets.

-Hal
 
ptonsparky said:
Getting closer but not mine.

One of my customers is obviously suffering from Dementia and is in the need of help. We have notified Adult Protective Services of our concern but I don't know what else to do for her. I hate to send guys out to her house to disconnect the running motor very many times. Once was enough. There is no motor.

I managed to put her off the other day but she was going to call someone else.

Do you just say you're too busy and go on about your day when those customers call?
Click to expand...
Difficult situation.
Not exactly your problem apart from business interests that maybe ought to be put on the back burner.
Simple human compassion would make most of us want to do something rather that walk away as if the problem doesn't exist.
You have contacted APS although others here don't rate them.

How about neighbours? They might know how to contact family members or her GP. Her church if she has one? A few calls might shed some light. An effort on your part that just might give some leads for others to follow up. At least you will know you have tried.
 
Yes, probably the best advice would be to talk to her neighbor(s). See if they notice as you have that she has a problem and does anybody come to see her. Suggest that the neighbor talk to whoever seems to be her friend or relative. Beyond that I would butt out. It just might be that she want's to be left alone, she does have that right.

I had a old lady that called every few days saying that her stepson was getting into her house (she lived alone with her little dog). She wanted security lighting all around outside. I also referred her to a locksmith who installed Medico locks on all of the doors. A few days later she called saying that he was still getting in, locking the double cylinder deadbolt from the outside as he left. I told her that's impossible. Her reply was that he used to work for the railroad, he can do anything. She had a sister that lived nearby and eventually I stopped hearing from the old lady, she went into a nursing home I guess and the house was sold.

So here is someone similar to the person the OP is talking about. No danger to herself or anybody else though she was getting wacky. Although I did know of her sister, even if I didn't I would never have considered turning her in to APS.


-Hal
 
I had a similiar situation a few years ago, I chatted with the lady the second time she called (she could feel her electricity, especially in certain parts of the house), and found out where she went to church. Called church and left message on answering machine, I don't know if anyone did anything, but she never called after that
 
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