Funny sayings....

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I do electrical maintenance at a casino on the boardwalk in AC, NJ.
"Can't see it from the boardwalk..."

As I'm climbing up a 32' extension ladder over a water fountain...
It looks like you've done this before.... "No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night"

Beauty is only a light switch away.

If I take two asprin, will you go away?

From a pit manager on the casino floor- "will this take long?" reply-"how long do you want it to take?"

My buddy Dave was working as a helper for another mechanic, Juan, who had a VERY strong Spanish accent. Juan showed me a tangled extension cord in his truck. He said "Hey Bubba. You see this! THIS...THIS - is DAVE!" I laugh out loud every time I think of it.
:cool:
 
When I was close to graduation from tech school I asked my favorite instructor if I could use him as a reference. He said sure no problem I?ll just tell them what I tell everyone who calls for a reference ? ?You?ll be lucky if you get him to work for you.? I wasn?t sure how to take that?!? :grin:
 
powerslave said:
I sat on a plane that was delayed because they had to change pilots. When the new pilot finally got on board he said, "Sorry for the delay folks, but don't you worry. I'm gonna fly this thing like it was rented."

That was reassuring.:roll:
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I sat on a turboprop plane that was delayed at the gate. All flight crew were there, then one more pilot gets onboard and the existing pilot leaves.

I asked the stewardess why, she explained that the latest weather info shows that our flight will hit rain, and the first pilot wasn't too good in the rain!:-?

Excuuuuuuse me??
 
KentAT said:
I sat on a turboprop plane that was delayed at the gate. All flight crew were there, then one more pilot gets onboard and the existing pilot leaves.

I asked the stewardess why, she explained that the latest weather info shows that our flight will hit rain, and the first pilot wasn't too good in the rain!:-?

Excuuuuuuse me??
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Knowing what you now know, aren't you glad they switched? ;)
 
I always tell helpers when they ask, "How long should I cut this wire?", especially if it is a long, tough pull.

Cut it too long and I will deduct it from your paycheck.

Cut it too short and your fired.

In a fecetious sort of way, but they get the point.
 
mivey said:
We used to kid the newbie about finding a "skyhook". What if he would have brought back this:
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Someone tried that on me a few years ago, at which point I spun his phone around, called up Canadian Air-Crane, and started asking to book a gig. The guy hung up the phone for me...

From past jobs I've worked on I know they run in the area of $1000/minute for the Sikorsky S64. I've never been as close to any other aircraft of that size, and let me tell you, it gets windy.

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Rampage_Rick said:
From past jobs I've worked on I know they run in the area of $1000/minute for the Sikorsky S64.
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Rick I think someone was pulling your leg or only feeding you some of the info.

I really doubt that the S64 is going to get half a million dollars for a days work.

Poking around the web I found more realistic prices of $5000 per hour of flight time. That puts it about $83 per minute which seems much more likely. :)

When we build Lowe's they fly the RTUs onto the roof, it's cool to watch and they set all 25 RTUs in less then 45 minutes.
 
This was a heli-logging operation in the boonies. I just talked to my dad, who was the operations engineer on that cutblock, and he said that flight time ran about $12,000 an hour. (This when your dollar was worth two here...)

Evidently the number I heard was the total adjusted price after factoring in everything and everyone on the ground as well.

'scuse me while I remove a size 13... :D
 
Back in my Air National Guard days I got a flight in the back seat of an F-4 fighter as a reward for outstanding performance of duties (I was a bomb loader. )

I was told by our Operations officer that the average flight of our F-4's (1.2-1.5 hours duration) costs $21,000.

That was taking into account everything, including fuel, pilot salary, parts for the aircraft, and all the costs of the maintenance troops and support troops.

It was a fun ride, BTW. And I managed (barely) to keep my lunch. :)

OT, the funniest thing I heard in that jet during my flight:

Pilot: "Get ready, we're gonna pull a few G's. "
Me: "o.k."

I brace my head against the headrest....pilot slams the stick back...my head snaps down to my lap...he unloads, I notice the "bug" on the g-meter stopped at 5.2...

Pilot: "How was that?"
Me: "Let me get my head out of my G-suit first and I'll tell you."
 
iwire said:
When we build Lowe's they fly the RTUs onto the roof, it's cool to watch and they set all 25 RTUs in less then 45 minutes.
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It's cool to watch them do it to a "Bullseye" too. Up until the moment you realize the "new" guy the hvac company hired for this job can't read a plan, so all the RTUs are in the wrong place. And the ductwork to match the plan is already on site.

Another classic line "But, he said he had experience!":grin:
 
DanZ said:
While buying tools, ask for a left handed screw driver.

If someone wants to trade or borrow something you don't want to get rid of, tell them you'll trade for a left handed smoke shifter.
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I generally have a few left handed drill bits around (they really do exist, and are useful for drilling out stuck bolts).

I can be a bit embarrassing when you pick one up and try to use it normally.

-Jon
 
bpk said:
I worked with an aircraft electronics technician once and he said " This thing doesnt have to fly to the moon" I think he was kidding but it kind of made me wonder anyway.
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My reply would go something like "But we're going to wire it so it doesn't burn to the ground"
 
kids say the darndest

kids say the darndest

i was sipping a cold one with a coworker after work on a Friday at the local pub. a well kempt, well mannered yourg man approaches and asks if it is ok to take my buddy's daughter out on a date. friend says, 'that would be fine, but if there's one thing a hate, it's a boy sittin in the car honking a horn for the girl.' kid says, 'i wouldn't do that, i'll knock on the door'. buddy says, 'You knock on my door and i kill you'..........poor kid turn all white........
 
My instructor used to say all the time When doing a job the HO will always approach you in a timid kind of way and ask if it is possible to ............. and he would always replies with "Nothing is impossible as long as you got $$$ to pay for the job"


~FyE~
 
Heard this used on a customer who nuked a PLC controller running a clean room inner lock/ mantrap system (attempting to troubleshoot) and trying to avoid doing crucial repairs to it: "Putting a bandaid on a sucking chest wound won't get you out of this one!":cool: :D
 
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