kid_stevens
Senior Member
- Location
- Albuquerque, NM
RADAR and LASER detectors rule. I slid pass a AZ Highway patrol when my detector went off coming around a corner. He waved his finger as I dropped 30mph to reach the speed limit.
Speeding ticket...
- Thread starter Rockyd
- Start date
- Status
stickboy1375
Senior Member
- Location
- Litchfield, CT
kid_stevens said:
not legal in all states...
a lil humor
a lil humor
For Celtic:
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900; $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700; $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700"
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that friends, is how it all works!
a lil humor
For Celtic:
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C.; one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, from Florida.
They go with a White House official to examine the fence.
The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900; $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700; $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700"
The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence."
"Done!" replies the government official.
And that friends, is how it all works!
Energize
Senior Member
- Location
- Milky Way Galaxy
cure for speeding tickets
cure for speeding tickets
ALWAYS carry a 20 oz bottle of water with you.
Any traffic stop, pour the water on your pants and plead temp insanity for looking for bathroom break - moan that's it's too late now. The older you are, and the younger the cop, the easier this is to pull off.
ALWAYS works with a female in the car when she says it is a "female problem". Cops can't wait to drive off.
cure for speeding tickets
ALWAYS carry a 20 oz bottle of water with you.
Any traffic stop, pour the water on your pants and plead temp insanity for looking for bathroom break - moan that's it's too late now. The older you are, and the younger the cop, the easier this is to pull off.
ALWAYS works with a female in the car when she says it is a "female problem". Cops can't wait to drive off.
LawnGuyLandSparky
Senior Member
BEES!!!
TwinCitySparky
Senior Member
- Location
- Minnesota
Energize said:
Another variation: Hold your breath for a minute as the cop walks up to your car so you look flushed. When he gets to the window, grab your beltline
and say - I just had a really bad dining experiance. (Got me out of rolling thru a stop sign)
- Location
- Simi Valley, CA
A police officer pulled a man over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But, come to think of it, I believe I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
The trunk was opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my fifth DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But, come to think of it, I believe I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
The trunk was opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
boater bill
Senior Member
- Location
- Cape Coral, Fl.
I did what Cavie recommended about 2 years ago. pretty big speed trap got me, 55 down to 30 in one block.
the test cost as much as the fine, but no court costs and no record. Online course took 4 hours. Read the material in 30 minutes and waited the extra time until ready to take the test.
See if Nevada has a similar program Rocky.
the test cost as much as the fine, but no court costs and no record. Online course took 4 hours. Read the material in 30 minutes and waited the extra time until ready to take the test.
See if Nevada has a similar program Rocky.
Last edited:
Don't know about your locality, but call the number on the ticket and see what the options are.
In Texas you can get a deferred sentence by paying a premium and meet certain conditions. Works like this:
The fine is $150 for the offense, but if your record is clean and eligible, you pay $200 fine instead of $150 for a defered sentence, maybe Deffensive Driving School (depends on offense), and a probation period of 90-days. Basically you pay a higher fine, and at the end of 90-days, you get copy of your driving record to show you have been a good boy for 90-days and the charges are dropped and never show up on any records to count against you.
For the few extra bucks it is worth it.
In Texas you can get a deferred sentence by paying a premium and meet certain conditions. Works like this:
The fine is $150 for the offense, but if your record is clean and eligible, you pay $200 fine instead of $150 for a defered sentence, maybe Deffensive Driving School (depends on offense), and a probation period of 90-days. Basically you pay a higher fine, and at the end of 90-days, you get copy of your driving record to show you have been a good boy for 90-days and the charges are dropped and never show up on any records to count against you.
For the few extra bucks it is worth it.
electricmanscott
Senior Member
- Location
- Boston, MA
Rockyd said:
So you want an even bigger break???? Your kidding right??? Seems like the cop let you off easy. How about taking a little personal responsiblity and paying the ticket you deserved?
frenchelectrican
Senior Member
- Location
- Nord'est Wisconsin et Paris France
Techally it kinda two part here with me so bear with me.
I was driving the 2 tonner service truck and somehow i was going full throttle [ truck speed topped out at 77 mph ] on 60 mph zone and for some reason i did spotted the cops i knew my arse is busted on this one and i turn on the " Jake brake " aka compression engine brake and got their attetion with very loud BRAPPPPPPPPP sound [ this truck i used have it before it have V-8 detorit so it will bark like you know what i say ] anyway the cop approched at me after i hit the Jake and at the same time a stupid car driver was tailgating behind my truck.
next thing i have a major mess on my hand after the car rear ended at my rig and the cop approched to me and asked me " do you know how fast you are going " i reply in speaking in french " Je pas conner " [ i dont know ] and somehow the cop have to do a " mime " act to me sorta like crude sign langue [ it is true i am almost total deaf btw ] he say to me " you 77 no no " then act say " down 60 " and he point to my truck muffer say " loud " [ act like cover your ears ] and he end up gave me a warning ticket because he cant find french trasnaltor for me but unforetally the car driver he is not hurt but the car is history allready there were very little damage to my truck just bent taillight bracket.
two other cops was watching us to try to compred the sisuation and somehow they were pretty instring to listen our conversation and did not say much at all
so i end up one ticket was the commpression brake they have a sign about 2 miles back warn not to use it unless emergecy and went to the court and have french transalotr there and expain the sisuation and i told them the emergecy is to slow down the truck fast that all i said and they drop that ticket but warned me not to do that again
i know it is kinda off thread a little i hope you can understand this
Merci , Marc
I was driving the 2 tonner service truck and somehow i was going full throttle [ truck speed topped out at 77 mph ] on 60 mph zone and for some reason i did spotted the cops i knew my arse is busted on this one and i turn on the " Jake brake " aka compression engine brake and got their attetion with very loud BRAPPPPPPPPP sound [ this truck i used have it before it have V-8 detorit so it will bark like you know what i say ] anyway the cop approched at me after i hit the Jake and at the same time a stupid car driver was tailgating behind my truck.
next thing i have a major mess on my hand after the car rear ended at my rig and the cop approched to me and asked me " do you know how fast you are going " i reply in speaking in french " Je pas conner " [ i dont know ] and somehow the cop have to do a " mime " act to me sorta like crude sign langue [ it is true i am almost total deaf btw ] he say to me " you 77 no no " then act say " down 60 " and he point to my truck muffer say " loud " [ act like cover your ears ] and he end up gave me a warning ticket because he cant find french trasnaltor for me but unforetally the car driver he is not hurt but the car is history allready there were very little damage to my truck just bent taillight bracket.
two other cops was watching us to try to compred the sisuation and somehow they were pretty instring to listen our conversation and did not say much at all
so i end up one ticket was the commpression brake they have a sign about 2 miles back warn not to use it unless emergecy and went to the court and have french transalotr there and expain the sisuation and i told them the emergecy is to slow down the truck fast that all i said and they drop that ticket but warned me not to do that again
i know it is kinda off thread a little i hope you can understand this
Merci , Marc
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