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*I smile because we're co-workers...I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it
*Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
*Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool
*Just when you think it's idiot proof, along comes a better idiot
*All my life, I wanted to be somebody...Now I see, that I should have been more specific
*I couldn't wait for success, so I went ahead without it
*My job is too important to give me a day off, but not quite important enough to give me a raise
*Weaseling out of things is important to learn...It's what separates us from the animal...except the weasel
*I lied to get the job, they lied about the job...we're even
*Hard work never killed anybody...But why take a chance
*Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock
*Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
*I may not soar with eagles, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
*How do I feel?...Well, you know when you're sitting in a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs then you lean too far and you almost fall over, but at the last second you catch yourself?...I feel like that all the time

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE.:D
 
Jim W in Tampa said:
We also know that fridays goes easy, you want easy day,and any tags get added to the dreaded monday.Most of the time i could care less about the inspection.My jobs are ready and to code to my best.Anything you find likely is minor and you say fix.If more than that you have helped me catch a real problem i missed.I actually enjoy seeing you,helps me to know i did it right.
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Ahh Fridays the day all of the contractors start calling and asking for an A.M. inspection because they all want to go home early.

And we could care less about the job. As long as your jobs ready and to code, and if we're lucky we helped you catch a real problem you missed.
I actually enjoy seeing you, helps me know that there are still guys out there doing it right.

Hey that's almost what you said. I guess inspectors and contractors have more in common than we thought. Great minds do think alike. :D :wink:



Those are some really good ones guys. I put a new quote up about once every couple of weeks on my outside wall. I'm gonna steal some of yours.:D
 
raider1 said:
Here are a few quotes from my mentor, Homer Jay Simpson:
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I'm partial to Ralphisms myself:

Ralph: [sitting on Smokey the Bear's lap] "I want a bicycle, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey."
Smokey: "You're not going to start any fires are you?"
Ralph: "At my house we call them uh-ohs."

While wearing an ice cream cone on his head: "I'm a unitard!"

"Can you open my milk mommy?" "I'm not mommy, Ralph, I'm Miss Hoover."

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

"I have two kinds of wet in my pants"

"And when the doctor said that I didn't have worms anymore, that was the best day of my life"

"I ated the purple berries...they taste like burning!"

"That's my sandbox... I'm not allowed to go in the deep end"


Some other ones I've found applicable at work:

"Beancounters are not accountants; they know the cost of everything and the value of nothing"

"The Manhattan Project, Bletchley Park, the National Security Agency, and, I would guess, Saddam Hussein's weapons labs are all built on the same plan: a big space ringed by anxious, ignorant, heavily armed men, looking outward. Inside that perimeter, a surprisingly small number of hackers wander around through untidy offices making the world run."
 
My favorite...

When you're up to your a** in alligators, it's hard to remember the objective is to drain the swamp.

steve

Another favorite

People who can...DO.
People who can't.....Teach.
 
Rampage_Rick said:
I'm partial to Ralphisms myself:
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Ralph is great, he has some very good quotes.:)

Here's a couple more good ones,

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."

"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."

"Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office."

"When i grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."

Chris
 
With all the Ralphisms, where's the best one???? I bent my wookie

I also like Apu's Please do not offer my god a peanut

This is one from a friend who is now a ER Tech: Paging Doctor Zaius
 
Here's one for the uppity know-it-all apprentice:
"I'd like to buy you for what you're worth, and sell you for what you think you're worth!"
or
"I've forgotten more than you know"
 
cds9044 said:
" I'm not afraid of work. I can lay down beside it and go to sleep."
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After all, it says right on the top of all my ladders: "Do not stand or sit". What else is there to do?

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ralph.gif



Ralph would be proud of this work:
Aluminum Foil Helmets
 
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Bob Kraemer said:
"You go do what YOU THINK, you know how to do and I'll go do, what I KNOW how to do"
Pissed a few off with that one, of course it usually goes over there head for a minute till they realize what I said. :grin:
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This one kills me. LMAO!:D :D
 
How about.... "Do people from your planet ever shut up!?":smile:

"Remember when in a pissing contest with a skunk you'll always come out stinking in the end." :cool:
 
mdshunk said:
If a homeowner presents me with a fixture to install, when they ask, "Do you think this will look nice there?",
I reply with nonresponsive statements like, "It looks very sturdy.".

Celtic said:
What the hell does that mean ????


LMAO
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(Forum jumping here :) )



...another favorite of mine after having released the holy ghost:
I dunno what happened....it was like that when we left
 
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