best excuses from employees

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JohnJ0906

JohnJ0906

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Baltimore, MD
I'm curious on some of the excuses you all hear from employees for being absent or late.

Last week we had a guy call in saying he was locked in his bedroom, and couldn't get out. You could hear the door rattling in the background. Supposedly, he had to call the building maintenance to let him out.

Then there is the ever-popular, "My wife/girlfriend didn't wake me up" :roll:

The guy who was at least honest "I'm too hungover to come in"

How about "I don't know where my car is"

Got any good ones?
 
I have a list so long my fingers would quit before I got done typing them but my all time favorite is" My fish died and I need a couple of days to come to terms with it. BTW, do you guys have bereavment pay?" We gave him the couple days off while we hired his replacement.
 
I once had a secretary who was constantly late, missed work, took long lunches, etc. After not showing up for several days she phoned in and indicated that "it was that time of the month" and that she was hemorraghing and sitting in her bathtub filled with ice. Needless to say, I didn't want to go to her house and ring the bell !!!
 
One guy had used every excuse in the book and I wanted him gone but he was my old boss's nephew, so I could not fire him. I told him to at least use an original excuse next time he called in. Last time he called he said :" I can't make it some thing's up" and hung up. I told the boss he had to go and they so the boss made him some one's else's problem.
 
Best I got ...

Best I got ...

When I was starting in this vocation.
I ate a bad apple at Lunch and was Pale, I told Boss I ate a bad apple. Came home and slept the rest of the afternoon.
I now consume my required fruit intake in other ways...:rolleyes:
 
Many years ago, I had an employer post a list of the feeble excuses he had received over the years. I don't remember the all, but here's some of them, along with some I've heard myself:

1. My Grandmother died yesterday.
2. My tires were frozen to the ground.
3. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1).
4. I couldn't get my bag of chips into my lunchbox, so I had to go out and buy a bigger lunchbox.
5. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1).
6. I thought it was Saturday.
7. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [how many Grandmothers does this guy have?]).
8. I had my cell phone in 'vibrate' and couldn't hear my Mom phoning me.
9. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [Again?]).
10. I forgot to do laundry last night, so I didn't have any clean work clothes.
11. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [OK, I'm going to Geneology.com for this guy!]).
12. I found another job, but when I got there yesterday, I found out I didn't like it, so I'm back today.
13. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [OK, Donnie, prove it!]).
14. I had a heart attack.
15. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [Donnie, we found out that you pulled this same stunt 20 times in high school.]).
16. I just lost my entheuthiasm.
17. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [Donnie, you're fired]).
18. I'm getting evicted from my apartment, so I need to go make some money.
19. My Grandmother died yesterday (same guy as #1 [Uh, Donnie, you don't work here anymore, so we don't care.]).
20. I forgot I got a job.
21. I had to go console Donnie on the loss of his Grandmother.
 
I don't have employees to offer me excuses, but I get some interesting ones from customers occasionally. Just this morning I had a 10:30 appointment to replace a dead vent fan. Customer calls me and asks if I can come later in the morning, because "they aren't ready to see people yet."

Must've been one heck of a party last night. :)
 
Here's one from a guy who was absent a whole week without calling in:

"I didn't have money for gas, so I couldn't go to work. Since I couldn't go to work, I had no way to make money for gas."

He was terminated.
 
we had one guy that said all his tires were flat on his car about 3 or 4 times a year, he puked on himself on the way to work, he took a sleeping pill at 4 am and didnt wake up when the clock went off, the main fuse on his house blew so he lost power to his alarm clock, he was too sick to use a phone.
he was fired :)
 
Had an employee many years ago who showed up late one day with a note from his wife explaining that they had been up extremely late the night before while engaged in amorous adventures.
She went on to describe the evening.
I'll leave it at this...It involved a Superman suit and a Wonder Woman costume.
It gave me new respect for Dave.
 
Lets see:

1. I couldn't find my pants from last night.
2. I was in jail.
3. I couldn't find my tools.
4. My girlfriend wouldn't untie me.
5. My trantula broke his leg.
6. My fish drowned. (How?)
 
The real dandy for me was the guy who disappeared for 2 weeks right after his dental insurance kicked in. He got every bit of dental work done that he had been needing for his whole life. He got his teeth fixed up and fired, all at the same time.

This same guy used to regularly take off sick on Mondays with diarrhea. Funny how his gut knew which day of the week it was.
 
mdshunk said:
The real dandy for me was the guy who disappeared for 2 weeks right after his dental insurance kicked in. He got every bit of dental work done that he had been needing for his whole life. He got his teeth fixed up and fired, all at the same time.

This same guy used to regularly take off sick on Mondays with diarrhea. Funny how his gut knew which day of the week it was.
Click to expand...

thats pretty funny
 
hockeyoligist2 said:
Marc, You must not drink beer on Sunday! LOL
Click to expand...
No, matter of fact. Even if I had to call in sick, and I had diarrhea, I'd just say that I was "sick". I don't really think any employer wants to know the details of the sickness, especially if you've got the back door trots.

There are two general styles of how guys call in sick. About 1/2 just say they're "sick", and that's all I really need to know. Most of the time I ask if they think they'll be in the following day or if they know about which day they'll be back. The other half of guys feel compelled for some reason to give you this long, drawn out story of the whole sickness and everything they've done about it so far. It's sorta like they're trying to convince you that they're really sick.

Hey, if you're sick, you're sick. Spare me the details.
 
Have to leave early,....like NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Have to leave early,....like NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Here's a good one, a real honest one actually. Guy gets a call from his wife, he needs to come home immediately. They are being invaded by sheep!!!!:roll:
It turned out to be legit. He took pictures to prove it, he knew we'd be all over him for this one. A neighbor many miles away had a sheep farm. Now keep in mind one of this guys hobbies is gardening. He came home to 30 sheep in his garden, they got loose. They ate him out of house and home:grin: Funny part is, it happened twice:roll:
Bahahahad Dave!!!
 
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