best excuses from employees

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chris kennedy said:
Peter, you must not be a sports fan, 30 mins game time could be 1hr 15min in real time. When the wife wants to know when Sunday dinner will be ready, I tell her theres 2 mins left in the game. We eat a half hour later.
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Longer if it's a close game and each side has several TOs.:grin:
 
it was raining one morning and a guy in the crew called in and said that he couldn't make it in because he had holes in his boots and didn't want to get his feet wet walking across the parking lot.


All the work was inside work also...:grin: Boss just laughed when he heard the message.
 
mdshunk said:
Funny how his gut knew which day of the week it was.
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Ours had to be just the opposite. Helper did not show up one Monday so we went on and figured he would call. Nowhere to be seen by 10 so I called his cell.
"Hello"
"Hey, man, where are you?"
"Huh? What day is it?"
:-? What do you say to that one??
He did not last much longer, although I think that may have been his only no show.
 
i didn't call in sick for my first 2 years until this one:

"hey boss? wife's having a baby right now. can't make it today."

then, after said baby started co-mingling w/ other babies,

(call from hospital room)"hey boss? I'm sick. And I think I'm going to die. No really." i puked 37 times in two hours. yes i counted.

i did call in late one day because my oil filter exploded on the way to work.

this one isn't a call-in-sick excuse, but a cute story:

we were headed to a job one morning that required us to drive across a field that had been rained on heavily for the past week. the truck, completely loaded, bogged down in the mud about 50 yards from the jobsite. i had a new helper, and his reaction was, "what do we do now?" after explaining that we would call for a tow, then carry all the materials on to the jobsite, his reaction was, "you for real?" the job was a trim out. after spending about 20 minutes too long explaining how to install a receptacle, i left the helper alone for about 30 minutes. i went to check on him and noticed all the receptacles were installed w/ the ground pin up, not as i had wanted them. i was 110% sure that they were all wired backwards as well (they were). i said to the helper, " hey buddy, you put all those receps in upside-down." his reaction, ,"how can you tell?" i said "just by looking." his jaw dropped, and his next words were, "you're the smartest person i've ever met!"
 
I'm sure glad you guys posted these. I've alaways been about 30-40 min early so even when I was a lil "late", I was on time. After being off these past four days and just thinking about going back to work tommorrow, some of these "excuses" sure look inviting.:grin:
 
I once had a boss that well a very good electrician and excellent foreman from the employers view point, he was a bit tough to work for. But I am a better electrician from my time with him. His nickname was "The Devil" called that to his face. He never cut corners, always did it right (his way) always to code.

One day we were working and he took a call, later the GC told us the call was the hospital he wife was having a baby. The GC told us, The Devil told the person on the phone, "I was there for my part, now you do you part, I'll be there after work"

He worked the rest of the day and said nothing to us about a baby.
 
iwire said:
LOL :D


I was the on call guy and I got a call from a super market manager....

Him: I have an electrical fire under the lobster tank, what should I do?

Me: Start melting the butter, I am on my way :grin:

He did not find any humor in that....I still went and fixed it but I did not get any boiled Lobster.
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that there is funny!!
 
Years ago, when I was an electrical foreman, I sent this guy out for coffee and donuts at 9:00a.m. expecting him to return very shortly since I had concrete trucks coming to pour and a lot more conduit to get in first. He left with the money we had given him for coffee and returned around 2:30 p.m. I was furious and wanted to fire him but I knew he was the bosses' pet. He told me, "Relax, I'm goin' drinkin' tonight and I needed some coin, so I've been mowing lawns". He also didn't bring the coffee and spent our money. :mad: What a bird this guy was! :roll:
 
Here are a few I have heard.

"My dog got out and I couldn't catch him"


On his first day one guy called at noon and said

"I got my butt kicked in the bar last night while celebrating my new job"

He was celebrating for no reason.


My all time favorite

"I have an eye problem. I can't see myself coming in today."
 
brian john said:
I once had a boss that well a very good electrician and excellent foreman from the employers view point, he was a bit tough to work for. But I am a better electrician from my time with him. His nickname was "The Devil" called that to his face. He never cut corners, always did it right (his way) always to code.

One day we were working and he took a call, later the GC told us the call was the hospital he wife was having a baby. The GC told us, The Devil told the person on the phone, "I was there for my part, now you do you part, I'll be there after work"

He worked the rest of the day and said nothing to us about a baby.
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i would no longer have a wife, nor custody of the child, if i had said this while my wife was in labor. honestly, i would probably be dead from a gunshot wound.
 
mdshunk said:
I do.

I asked the company that mows my grass not to send a certain guy anymore. He's got a couple of those prison teardrop tattoo's under his eye. Doesn't that have something to do with killing people? In any event, I've got kids, and I don't want him around.
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The replcaement guy was probably the cellmate to the one you canned
 
brian john said:
I once had a boss that well a very good electrician and excellent foreman from the employers view point, he was a bit tough to work for. But I am a better electrician from my time with him. His nickname was "The Devil" called that to his face. He never cut corners, always did it right (his way) always to code.

One day we were working and he took a call, later the GC told us the call was the hospital he wife was having a baby. The GC told us, The Devil told the person on the phone, "I was there for my part, now you do you part, I'll be there after work"

He worked the rest of the day and said nothing to us about a baby.
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now thats dedication
 
wbalsam1 said:
He told me, "Relax, I'm goin' drinkin' tonight and I needed some coin, so I've been mowing lawns".
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I'm trying not to use any profanity in response to this, because I'm amazed anyone would say something like that. Did you point out if he did his job like was required of him, he would've gotten paid just the same?

I'll admit that when I first got into the trade I had a lot of problems with reliability. You guys count yourself lucky you get excuses: I didn't want to lie about it, so I just plain wouldn't show up. :roll: :roll: Nowadays I realise how lucky I was to still have a job to come into after doing that.

Best one I've ever seen was the helper who drove into work to tell the foreman he couldn't make it to work today. Then he went home.

-John
 
I called into my boss one time and told him I would not be in that night because my G/F had a knife to my neck and would kill me if she did not get a good wild night. Well he did not believe me and started to ask a bunch of questions when I took a pic with my cell phone and sent it to him.

Well the next night I got to work and everyone was looking at me and asked how bad it was because they didn?t see any marks. Well I took of my hat to show the missing hair and lifted the back of my shirt to show the nail marks. That morning when my boss got in he was a butt and thought it was all a joke or something till I showed him the marks.

Well now everyone comes to me when they need sex advice. If we have to work for more than 19 days in a row my boss will call me and see if I need some time off.
 
The best by far is an employee who told me that he thought it was going to rain, and the wipers on his truck don't work all the time - he thought there was a short in the wiring!!!
 
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