best excuses from employees

[dereckbc]

I can't adjust the passenger side rear-view mirror, the truck is laying on it. :-?

 

[mdshunk]

Sheep have to be the dumbest animals on the planet. A neighbor of mine had a barn fire. The pigs and the three cows ran out of the barn. The sheep, which were in the pasture when the fire started, ran into the barn and perished.

 

[stickboy1375]

Sheep have to be the dumbest animals on the planet. A neighbor of mine had a barn fire. The pigs and the three cows ran out of the barn. The sheep, which were in the pasture when the fire started, ran into the barn and perished.

Maybe they were cold? :grin:

 

[76nemo]

Maybe they were cold? :grin:

Ever had beer come through your nose? I laughed my *ss off. That's the hardest I have laughed in a long time!!!!

They did however find their way there twice, and they traveled miles to get there. His vegetables must be good:grin:

 

[480sparky]

Sheep have to be the dumbest animals on the planet. A neighbor of mine had a barn fire. The pigs and the three cows ran out of the barn. The sheep, which were in the pasture when the fire started, ran into the barn and perished.

Lamb chops for lunch, gang! Get 'em while they're hot!

 

[iwire]

Lamb chops for lunch, gang! Get 'em while they're hot!

LOL


I was the on call guy and I got a call from a super market manager....

Him: I have an electrical fire under the lobster tank, what should I do?

Me: Start melting the butter, I am on my way :grin:

He did not find any humor in that....I still went and fixed it but I did not get any boiled Lobster.

 

[ceknight]

Me: Start melting the butter, I am on my way :grin:

He did not find any humor in that.....

There's no explaining some people. If I were him, I would have laughed.

 

[mdshunk]

There's no explaining some people. If I were him, I would have laughed.

I've actually dropped customers who are all up-tight and have no sense of humor. That's sort of a red flag for me, plus they stress me out. I strive to only serve "regular people".

 

[480sparky]

I've actually dropped customers who are all up-tight and have no sense of humor. That's sort of a red flag for me, plus they stress me out. I strive to only serve "regular people".

My favorite one-liner is when someone asks me if I've been an electrician all my life. I reply, "Not yet."

 

[mdshunk]

My favorite one-liner is when someone asks me if I've been an electrician all my life. I reply, "Not yet."

That reminds me of an interview question. I generally ask where or how you learned the trade. One guy responded "in prison". :roll:

Next!

 

[480sparky]

That reminds me of an interview question. I generally ask where or how you learned the trade. One guy responded "in prison". :roll:

Next!

I once filled out an application (for electrician) and there was a question about "Are you able to stand 8 hours?" I put down no.

When I got to the interview, the guy asked about it. "You can't stand for 8 hours?" I replied "I can work 8 hours, no problem. 10 or 12 if need be. Climb ladders & scaffolds. Crawl under houses with no basements. Walk across trusses. But you want me to stand for eight hours?"

 

[chris kennedy]

I generally ask where or how you learned the trade. One guy responded "in prison". :roll:

Next!

So the truth comes out. Marc said he didn't hire me because I wanted too much money. And stripping wire with a shank could create hot spots at the terminations.

 

[480sparky]

I wouldn't hold it against someone if they have a criminal background. Especially if they've served their time, paid the fine, did their community service, whatever the punishment was. AFAIC, their debt to society has been paid, and if they're willing to put it behind them and move foreward, good for them.

Yes, there's some who will go back to a life of crime, and then I have nothing to do with them. Like the guy I referred to earlier who was getting evicted and had to go make some money. The only way he could come up with 4 months' past-due rent in one day was to go back to making meth.

 

[mdshunk]

I wouldn't hold it against someone if they have a criminal background.

I do.

I asked the company that mows my grass not to send a certain guy anymore. He's got a couple of those prison teardrop tattoo's under his eye. Doesn't that have something to do with killing people? In any event, I've got kids, and I don't want him around.

 

[480sparky]

I do.

I asked the company that mows my grass not to send a certain guy anymore. He's got a couple of those prison teardrop tattoo's under his eye. Doesn't that have something to do with killing people? In any event, I've got kids, and I don't want him around.

Kind of a knee-jerk reaction, isn't it? You assume he's a felon and a murderer without knowing the facts. Smacks of prejudice, at least to me.

FWIW, here's a quote from Wikepedia:
"Teardrop tattoos can also signify the loss of a friend or loved one has died. An empty tear signifies that the loved one had been killed in murder. A filled tattoo signifies that the loved one had killed themselves or was killed in another cause other than murder (car crash, death penalty etc.)."

Now suppose the guy did kill someone. He served his time. Now, he's trying his best to make life work for him... honest job, trying to support himself (and possibly a family?), pay his taxes....

I'm not saying you're flat-out wrong, Marc, just pointing out how I see it.

 

[jrannis]

I had a real witty one from a helper. Still use it sometimes.

very large job that had a miserable foreman. Foreman asked the kid why he was late.
He told the foreman that he had a bone in his leg!
Foreman looked at him for about 20 seconds and just walked away.

 

[e57]

Best one from me was "I'm still drunk from last night - trust me you don't want me to come in." Went down like a ton of bricks...

Good one from one guy to me was "Oh Mark - I'm sick - I wont be able to make it." Mean-while someone is ordering a margareta behind him in the backround.... He wasn't even in the country....

Good one while working.... I see a guy sort of milling around not doing anything.... So I ask.... He tells me his "screw guns battery is dead" so he cant work. 'Well lemmie show you how it was done in the old days' I hold up a #2 phillips - "Put a screw on the end of this and you turn it!"

 

[hurricaneflyer]

On the other hand,

I have worked with hundreds of convicts over several years in a plain old public business, mostly as thier dept manager and a lot as direct supervisor.

It takes quite a bit of trouble for most people to wind up as convicts. By the time they get there they have already had several chances. Winding up serving a sentence in Local jail is not quite as hard but not enough to make a difference about this.

If I go to a busy public place and look around and I see 100 people, 95 of those people have on average had enough intelligence, ethics and common sence to not become convicts.

If I go to a prison and look around and can see 100 people, 99 of those people on average have not had enough intelligence, ethics or common sense to keep from becoming convicts.

My advice based on experiance is not to hire ex cons. 1 out of 100 are ok to take a chance on but, compare that to the public at large. Even if you only say that half of the general public is worth a shot thats still a lot better odds 50 out of 100.

Those rare occaisions where a convict commited only one crime and wound up in prison (murder or homicide of certain kinds is about it) I wish the best for them but still you gotta play the odds.

 

[peter]

Not electrical but I used to be straw boss with a crew of four -- including my janitor. Our company had a paid 1/2 hour lunch -- make that 30 minutes and the employees could watch TV during that time.
Imagine my befundlement when, at the end of the day, I saw a note on my desk from David s. which read, "Peter. I am sorry that I couldn't finish my janitorial duties today because by the time the game was over, it was quitting time."
This made sense since one half of a game is exactly thirty minutes which exactly coresponds to the 30 minute lunch break.
~Peter

 

[chris kennedy]

This made sense since one half of a game is exactly thirty minutes which exactly coresponds to the 30 minute lunch break.
~Peter

Peter, you must not be a sports fan, 30 mins game time could be 1hr 15min in real time. When the wife wants to know when Sunday dinner will be ready, I tell her theres 2 mins left in the game. We eat a half hour later.