Hmm. Disagreement to go around
It would be quite interesting to try Smart$ circuit as an experiment, but I can't imagine measurable results with reasonably sized components, voltages, and frequencies.
Smart$: of course your large hunk'o'metal is a capacitor. Current can flow into it, changing its potential, and current will continue to flow as long as there is a driving electric field to push the electrons. The larger your hunk'o'metal, the more charge it can accept for a given change in potential.
Crossman: a battery works by having two separate reactions going on at the positive and negative terminals. One of these reactions will only complete if it accepts electrons; the other reaction will only complete if it rejects electrons. The common thread is that ions need to move between the two electrodes, taking part in both reactions. For example, one reaction might reject a pair of electrons into the external circuit, leaving a positive ion floating about, and the other reaction might consume a positive ion and require a pair of electrons from the external circuit. The positive ions diffuse through the electrolyte from the source electrode to the consuming electrode.
The electron producing reaction could occur without the electron accepting reaction...but this would cause the negative electrode to take a stronger negative charge, holding the positive ions from diffusing to the other electrode. If you somehow had a method for preventing the change in potential (say by connection to a large hunk'o'metal) then the reaction could continue until an excess of positive ions builds up, again stopping the reaction.
You can think of the battery as a capacitor with inverse leakage. There is some potential for a bit of charge movement from one side only, but very quickly the movement of charges will cause the reaction to stop.
So I can see how current would flow over time in Smart$' circuit, though I wonder if it would be more fair to describe the system as a multi-electrode capacitor where the battery electrodes are also part of the capacitor electrodes.
-Jon