Bandini Technology being misapplied by Contractor
Bandini Technology being misapplied by Contractor
Could someone help me understand how this can be possible?
Through the use of the "Bandini Theorem", many impossible things may be fabricated to appear "Real".
In your case, the Data Cable Contractor has applied the "Bandini Theorem" as a tool for compiling a Pseudo-Scientific statement, in the overall Prestidigitation attempt.
The "Bandini Theorem" is a Manufactured result, using "Male Bovine Fecal Theory" as a base model component.
Many Pseudo-Scientists routinely use the "Bandini Theorem" to fabricate Technical facts, so as to produce contradictive results.
These experts in legerdemain have mis-applied the Theorem outside of its intended use.
The Bandini Fertilizer Company created the "Bandini Theorem" for use with Plants, so as to encourage healthy growth.
The target application being Lawns.
When distributed in proper allocations, the overall results will yield a much greener Lawn.
"Bandini Theorem" is commonly packaged in 2.5 Cu. Ft. bags, and sold in the Lawn and Garden section of Home Improvement Centers.
It is more commonly known as "Fertilizer" and "B.S."
Other than applications involving Vegetation, the "Bandini Theorem" has no other usage - especially for Technical issues.
To be serious now, the Data Cable Contractor is full of B.S.
The above text is an over emphasized way of saying this, with a twist of humor for impact.
He was given this information by a network contractor quoting on a job for him. The contractor used this reason as to why some of their computers were running slow while others were running fast.
Sounds more like the slow Machines might have one or more of the following issues:
- Excessive TSRs (started through the Bootstrapping processes),
- Too many Applications running together,
- Experienced many GP Faults without rebooting the Machine,
- Failing Hard Disk Drive,
- CPU failure, &/or DRAM issues,
- Core Software issues,
- Too many Porn Sites in minimized browser Windows or Tabs,
- Using an 80286 based Machine with Windows XP for the Operating System,
- Issues with IRQs, and similar Hardware related stuff,
- Buggy Software,
- User issues: i.e. using the Machine / Applications incorrectly,
- Patch Cords between NIC and LAN have contact issues,
- Poltergeist has taken up Residence in affected Machines (requires Exorcist).
Advise the Data Cable Contractor to avoid smoking Crack prior to visiting Clients. Leaving the Crack Pipe at Home may help reduce the urge to be a Bandini Distributor.
In my opinion, the Crack Pipe - along with the Crack, should be completely avoided at all times.
The Data Cable Contractor should be made aware of these suggestions, so as to reduce the spread of Bandini based Technology.
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Scott
