Jim, Let me add: If I have a grounded neutral system, I usually need it for something, and it just seems natural to use a grounded neutral reference.
As far as if the center tap was not being used, it would NOT seem natural to try to reference the center tap by splitting the phasors in that coil.
As for why the grounded neutral seems like a natural reference, maybe because as a child, I grew up in a single phase world. I never new of a three phase world until I was much older. When I was a child, my circuits were simple L-G and used a ground reference. When I moved to a center-tapped AC world, the grounded reference still felt natural. Since I saw the second leg as an inversion of the first, it would have felt "backwards" to not use the grounded center tap as a reference.
When I had a combination circuit that used the grounded center tap, I used the ground as a reference because it just seemed like a natural extension of the old L-G world I started with. I guess with the L-G-L circuit and having + and - values, the bottom section just seemed more like an "inversion" of the top instead of a "stack". A multi-tap coil did seem like a stack but I would have had a "+" stack and a "-" stack if I grounded the center of the multi-tap coil.